The Beating of the Mimes


April 10, 1999

This is the story of what happened, told by Nick's point of view (a mime-basher).

We met on the steps of Jester and set everything up; made signs (Knighthood of Buh Hates Mimes, Mimes Suck, Down with Mimes, and God Hates Mimes -Psalm 69), painted chach and dayton's faces, etc. Dayton and Chach took off to go do their mime thing. We THOUGHT they were going to the south mall by the six pack, so after a 15 or 20 minute head start we headed over there. At the fountain, we started chanting "WE HATE MIMES!" over and over again. We didn't see the mimes... so we started asking everyone if they had seen any mimes. By the time we were in front of the tower, people started telling us that they saw mimes on the east mall. So the mob headed that direction.

We found them, and started beating the hell out of Chach while dayton ran away. People took us seriously (Chach and Dayton had been standing there pretending to be real mimes for quite some time); some guys joined in by squirting the mimes with waterguns while we beat them; one chick pulled me off of chach and started berating me for being a horrible person. I told her that I hated mimes, and to get out of my way. (I think Joe later told her that it was a joke)

We tied up Chach, and then went to find Dayton. We found him, but it was in a secluded area, so we told him where to go so we could find him later. We paraded around for a while, asking everyone if they had seen any other mimes, and occasionaly pausing to beat chach. After another 10 minutes of wandering around, we found Dayton, beat the shit out of him, and tied him up too. We got back to around the fountain, and then the mimes "escaped". We chased them down a second time. We have some lovely pictures of a policeman talking to us.

All in all, it was great fun. People seemed to like it; I just wish we had advertised the name of our club in bigger letters. Oh well.

Lord Nick, His Royal Sex Machine

Pictures of the Event


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