April 28, 2001
First we got all pirated up, complete with a skull and crossbones flag and pirate music accompaniment on a boombox. We then got some supplies, and went to eat at wendys (pirate food, of course). Then we set off into the festival to take it over, be assholes, and pillage... and screw around.
So, the twelve members of the University Pirate Team paraded out onto the south mall, where all the tables were set up, and took over a table that was unoccupied. After making a big deal out of our victory, we realized that this victory had left us with no booty, and so we left in search of other conquests.
We next went over to the table of the texas travesty and knocked over all their stuff and stood on their tables and chairs and declared it our own. Despising their company and meager accommodations, we went to the main stage to dance. After some good pirate dancing ("ARRGH!"), we left in search of mead.
We came to a tricycle riding booth, and claimed this as our own as well, but then a really big guy came and picked me up off the table and set me on the ground. Then, some guy tried to take eric's sword, so we all kicked his ass. Apparently he was unaware of the fact that we were ACTUAL PIRATES, and the UT Pirate Team goes to competitions and shit. In short, don't screw with REAL pirates.
So this is how it went, pillaging tables, knocking things over, looting, pillaging, singing the "thong song" at a kareoke booth, and then we decided to take over the main stage on the west steps of the main building. At first, the people in charge of this stage did not like the idea, and refused to fight us for the right to the stage, but they said that they would be happy to have the UTPD fight for them. Just when we thought all was lost, the "sound guy" for the stage talked with the people in charge, and told us that if we could fight him and take the stage from him, we could sing a song for everyone at the festival. He then turned the mics on, grabbed a free microphone stand, and screamed the pirate yell ("ARRGH!!!") *note. I am NOT kidding* After having bested this man, we all sung a hearty victory song for the whole festival to hear; "what do you do with a drunken sailor."
After this final conquest, we set sail, leaving this plundered festival
for other waters.
Thanks go out to all 12 of our crazy pirates
The whole thing was a hell of a lot of fun.
-Cha-Chee Christ