Introduction
I'm not an expert and I learned most of this from books. But I've tried it all, and it all works. 

Also, this lecture will be from a heterosexual male point of view. However, everything applies, with appropriate changes, to gay or bisexual practitioners.

Safety
I want to start with safety issues. First, magickal safety. One effect of sex magick is [or can be] extreme closeness with your partner. It may seem as if the personalities almost merge. So you must be well grounded first, with no body or personality issues. Well, no one is free from all issues, but you should be as grounded as possible. 

Ground and center first and release the energy afterwards. Go into a session in a good state of mind. It should not be "make-up sex" or otherwise influenced by anything negative going on in your life. 

Second, sexual safety. I shouldn't even need to say this, but use condoms unless you are completely monogamous. 

Third, know your partner well before you start on sex magick. 

[Fourth,] if you do magick from the Kama Sutra, [or comparable positions or techniques,] stretch first. [Sex magick can be more strenuous than it might seem, or more strenuous than you might think, so] stretching can be important.

Sex magick in general
Sex is the most powerful way to raise energy. It can be dangerous [as a form of magick]. 

Energy is built up from opposite polarities in the partners. This is exemplified in an obvious way with a man and a woman, but there can be opposite polarities in a gay couple or even in solitary practice. Everyone has a masculine side and a feminine side. Grok the other side of yourself, whichever you are less familiar with. 

Sex magick is a whole-body experience. If you are doing it right, you will raise energy. 

There are at least to views of sex magick [of how it should be done]. One is the hedonistic view, which holds that sex magick should be done just for enjoyment. The OTO generally seems to adhere to this view. 

The other is the ascetic approach. It views sex magick as sacred. According to the ascetic view of sex magick, one should conserve jing, which builds up chi (according to Daoism). The hedonistic approach involves much expenditure of jing. 

Another dichotomy is that of solitary sex magick versus sex magick with a partner. I prefer it with a partner, and probably most people do, but it can be done very effectively alone. 

Why do sex magick? Or if it's so powerful, then why not do it in every ritual? There are many kinds of ritual where it is inappropriate - most obviously, for example, banishings or contacting ancestors. [It is also unsuitable for other occasions for other reasons.] However, it's good for fertility, energy, job-seeking and other purposes. It's better not to use it for money, though; that can be nasty. 

[A few more general points]
• One must focus on the magical purpose and not just use it as an excuse for sex.
• Try it only when both partners are fully willing. Never push the idea on a partner who's not really interested. Sometimes one of you may prefer just non-magickal sex, and that's OK.
• Sex Magick can happen accidentally and when it does, it may be just as good as when intended. But you can't count on this. 

Kinds of sex magick
The most basic kind of sex magick could be described as "fuck and make a wish". That may sound crude but it is basically the concept. It is similar to other common [object-oriented] forms of magick. Both partners keep the image in mind, and release it at orgasm. 

A second kind of sex magick is [for spiritual development or growth]. You grok yourself as a magickal being, you are [or get] comfortable with your body and all of your masculine and feminine aspects, and change the way you see the world. It is good for the soul. 

A third kind of sex magick is one in which you draw down the [or a] goddess or god. You may see your partner as a god or goddess. As an experiment, you might try drawing a goddess or god of the opposite gender.

Preparation
Spontaneous sex is great and spontaneous magick can happen. However, most sex magick is planned. And when you do it, preparation is the most important thing. 

Most people in the Western world [or Americans] have body issues. Most of us are uncomfortable with some of our physical qualities. Naming your penis or vagina can be one way to deal with this. These ar eyour tools in sex magick, and you should honor them as you do other ritual tools, like the athame or goblet on the altar. 

Another exercise that may be helpful is for you and your partner to get together and take off all your clothes, and examine each other's bodies all over. This can be strange but it leads to both of you being more comfortable with your bodies. 

[A good relationship helps with sex magick because] any problems between the two of you will interfere. Walls are created and couples fight because of the individuals' own issues within themselves. 

Cleanliness is also something to remember. Some people like being dirty, but generally for most people being clean is an important part of preparation. 

Should you do sex magick in or out of circle? Many people believe it should be done in circle. I don't think it is necessary. But you probably know how to cast a circle on the fly. Just do it before you start, if you're going to, so you won't have to interrupt sex for it. 

For the "Fuck and make a wish" variety of magick, establish a common set of symbols beforehand. Our culture provides a range of symbols to choose from [to represent the thing you are wishing for or the means of of achieving it]. It should be something simple and meaningful to you. 

Make sure that whatever you need is available before you begin - lubricant, pillows, condoms, etc.. Have it all inside the circle so you won't have to leave to get something. 

This includes "B and D" gear if you are going to do the "bondage and domination" type of sex. Unlike some other people, I don't think B and D is necessarily separate from sex magick. Pain can be empowering for some people. But don't do it unless both of you are really willing and you know your partner well. And stop it as soon as either person wants to stop it.

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